"The true soldier soldier fights not because he hates what is before him, but because he loves what is behind him." G.K Chesterton
War is a certain reality & takes several appearances. It is both personal & global, private & corporate. It invades countries, neighborhoods, schools, our hearts & thoughts. It is war in which soldiers lay down their lives for their country & it is also war that lives in the quietness of a home which no one ever sees. Currently, in my life, war has looked like anxiety which has placed a sort of havoc on my mind. It comes out of nowhere, looks to hold me captive & take aware the things dear to me. But, after two anxiety attacks, a few weeks of reflection & a few rounds to the counselor, the unease of anxiety is leaving some understanding in it's wake.
The Lord is not afraid of war or a fight, especially when He gets to fight for us (Exodus 14:14). He not only calls us to be soldiers (2 Timothy 2:3) but encourages us as warriors (Judges 6:12). I have stopped asking myself whether or not war is real or necessary, I believe it is both real & necessary while I am in the world. The question has taken different forms.
What truth is this war trying to reveal?
Am I willing to fight?
What in my life is sitting just beneath my understanding that war beckons me to look at?
What am I scared to death to examine or accept as true? Accept as false?
C.S. Lewis, who served in the British army during WWII, wrote, "The war creates no absolutely new situation; it simply aggravates the permanent human situation so we can no longer ignore it."
The posture of my spirit, be it passive or certain, motivated in anger or love, matters more than I have previously considered. What I have noticed is the little progress I have made in fighting battles while I only fight against the Enemy. While most of my victories exist in the moments I fight for something, not simply against. We all are inspired by the stories of the hero that dies for the love of his life, for his country or for his faith. Why do these selfless heroes & their stories over shadow the story of the one who fights in anger? Why do we cheer along the superhero protecting an innocent person rather than root for the villain whose intent is to destroy? The answer is sitting before us. The one who fights out of love is better equipped for battle & there is something about their fight that registers with our very being. Without having to try, we want the righteous soldier to prevail, it's a story etched in our bones & embedded in our DNA. The posture of our heart matters eternally as we walk into war.
I believe I am made to fight &, if I am being honest, I do it everyday. Somedays the fight is noble, others not so much. But the war in my life is real. The villains are real. The Savior who fights for me & alongside me is real. As soon as I accepted this my life changed. I see it now as clear as I have seen anything & each day I see it clearer still as the Enemy looks to seize my life, my marriage, family, friends & anything I hold dear. But there is so much that I love which motivates me & infinitely more that Jesus loves. When Jesus went to war with Death, His greatest motivation was His love for us.
So the question is not whether or not war is real but am I willing to fight? If I am not, prehaps I should. For if I choose the life of a pacifist, my enemy will not. If I choose to fight in hate, the one who fights in love will overcome me, just as it should be.
